Land Of Rewrites and Unexpected Pool Guests - Rewrite
by ConfusedMinion
Summary: Karkat Vantas is an over worked and underpaid website coder. His only saving grace -to both his recluse lifestyle and his wallet- is his crappy romance novel franchise written under a pen name. Eridan Ampora is the Prince of an underwater kingdom with the unfortunate habit of harassing swimmers and straying too close to shore.
1. Chapter 1

His father, whom he had always considered a wise man, would always say that the value of a man could be measured by his determination. In the opinion of the older-much-less-wise brother, determination - and strength of will following, was measured by how many vices a single person could abstain from. The best definition according to Karkat Vantas, however, simply boiled down to how long a person could ignore things.

So when a shrill rendition of "Flight of the Bumblebee" screamed out of his phone at no later than six on a Saturday morning, Karkat knew the time to prove his worth had come.

Minutes crawled by and he waited, counting the seconds with gritted teeth beneath his pillow. A single, tired eye glared out at the mobile device mere inches away. The capability to reach over and silence it was there, the effort it would take miniscule. That would be the same as admitting defeat, the bastard on the other end would somehow know. Karkat wouldn't submit, he was going to win.

Despite the struggle stubbornness prevailed and his bed room was silent once again. Satisfaction filled him as he replaced his pillow beneath his head, and he fluffed it for good gloating measure. He laid back down, pulled up his comforter, and closed his eyes. Victory had been his this day.

A heartbeat later and his eyes flew open as the hellish tune began again somehow louder and higher pitched than before. Despite his best efforts at self control he seized the phone in hand, preparing fully to chuck the thing out the window when it mercifully stopped howling. Unable to comprehend his salvation, though completely willing to accept it, he changed the ring to silent and tossed it onto his nightstand instead. The clatter it made was loud enough to make him flinch, but his exhaustion counterbalanced the regret of having to possibly replace it.

He hadn't managed to lay down again before the buzzing started. It vibrated along the wooden top violently, bouncing off the hard surface and magnifying the noise as it danced in manic circles. A more patient person would let it go, shut it down and let the matter be. Karkat Vantas however, was not and had never been anything other than a tired, frustrated, and angry little man. In this moment as in every moment before, patience was not listed within his virtues.

"Please tell me Captor, since I absolutely have to talk to you right now, what in the name of sanity's ever loving suspiciously phallic shaped fuck you finger do you want?" was his greeting.

"Thuck my dick athole. Where do you think you get off taking that tone of voithe with me after what I've gone through today? Do you know what time it ith? I hope you goddamn do by now but I'll tell you anywayth. It'th thix-thirty and I've had to deal with thith for two hourth. Bathic math Vantath, how long have I already been awake becauthe of you?"

"Fuck you Sollux I haven't done a thing. I've been here, in my bed, all night. Do you know what kind of night I've had, by the way? Here in my bed? This hangover you are so graciously aggravating should be enough of a hint to a so called genius such as yourself. Of course it isn't because you are actually the biggest moron the universe ever decided to spawn. I've had a god-awful night, thanks for asking."

"No I know exactly what kind of night you've had. I've been fixing it for, oh, an hour now? Did I mention I thtarted tranthlating your drunken gibberith code at five-fucking-a-m? Becauthe I really need to thay I am almotht imprethed at the dumb-fuckery I thee here. Drunk KK maketh thober KK'th coding thkills look nearly competent."

"Holy fuck you dick munching douche waffle that was seven levels of uncalled for."

"I will thhow you theven levelth of uncalled for! Why the hell were you drinking in the firtht plathe?"

"Since you apparently feel entitled to my personal business and life choices..."

"It'th no longer your perthonal buthineth when it fuckth with mine."

"It's our business remember? My publisher called yesterday evening, and, fuck." It was too early to deal with the wave of anger and disappointment that washed over him, and he rubbed at his forehead as he recalled exactly why he had taken to drinking in the first place. "He rejected my manuscript. The final one, told me to scrap it and give him a new one. I have thirty days or the company isn't going to renew my contract. I'm sorry I fucked with the coding, I wasn't thinking straight and that wasn't cool of me."

"And now I'm an athhole. I'm thorry KK, talk about being a thuper unreathonable thhit bag."

"Takes one to know one you hypocrite."

"I'm trying extheptionally hard to be nithe right now, don't puth your luck." The line was silent for several moments and then Sollux sighed. "Look I'm thorry I harathed you thith early, I wath lathing out becauthe I wath pithed. Not cool of me either I know. Are we thtill friendth?"

"Yeah, we're still friends." Karkat replied. "I was just... I don't think I have another novel in me right now."

More silence and then Sollux sighed again, deep and long as if he carried the weight of the world on his scrawny shoulders.

"Go back to thleep for a while. I am, at leatht for a few hourth. When I wake up I'll head over there around noon, one o'clock. I'll bring thome cheap thitty beer and burgerth alright? We'll talk about a new novel and everything."

"Yeah that thoundth fine I gueth. I'll have the cooler and the grill ready for you, tho thee you then."

With the call ended Karkat attempted valiantly to return to sleep. As the minutes passed and the room gradually lightened with the progression of dawn he knew the futility of the pursuit. From there he naturally decided screaming into the pillow was the next best course of action before flinging it across the room. It's best efforts aside, the dullness of the plush's thud against the wall left Karkat's rage unabated. With the blankets thrown off with an attempt at violence and the manliest stomping he could muster, he reached the bathroom and slammed the door with a satisfactory bang. The crash that followed was alarming enough to abate his rage and encourage him to face the day like the adult his twenty-six years claimed him to be.

The following ablution and dressing was performed with a level of calm he didn't feel, and with the time still hovering before seven he descended the stairs to the main house. A cursory glance at his living room gave a glimpse into more details of the previous night then he wanted to remember, and shame burnt his cheeks as he stepped around scattered paper and empty beer bottles on the trek to the kitchen. The disaster in there was less encompassing, but with pounding head and irritation rising he moved straight to the deck and down into his yard.

With destination in mind he snagged a nearby pool chair and pushed the gate open, stepping onto an empty beach. Red was bleeding heavily over the gray horizon, oranges and yellows muted in the vibrancy of the crimson shade. He dragged the chair onto his dock, settling it just past where small waves lapped onto the sand, tips whitened with foam.

The wind that blew inland was just on the comfortable side of chilly, helping his sluggish brain into a more attentive state. The tension bled from his shoulders as he relaxed as his headache abated. As dock rocked gently from the movement of the ocean surrounding it he reflected on the raw power that lay around him. A small portion of his mind wondered about what monsters could be lurking out past the end of the structure, what horror was waiting with teeth or tentacles to drag him to his death.

Feeling more awake he pushed himself to his feet, forcing himself to wander further out along the planks. He distracted his discomfort by inspecting where wood had gotten worn and rotten and what needed repair. As he strayed closer to the end he fought to calm his racing heart, the water deep enough on both sides to have no sign of the bottom. The darkness of the depths before him left the question if the shelf dropped off here.

The sound of breaching water came from behind and he turned, a shout escaping his lips as silver raced at him. A fish landed squarely at his feet flopping around helplessly, seemingly confused at its predicament. As he struggled to get his heart rate under control Karkat coudn't stop himself from feeling a bit sorry for it.

A nudge from his foot had it plunged back into the depths with enough timing for him to know that everything hated him. A great shadow passed beneath the waves, and Karkat felt the nope rise hard and fast as it moved back beneath the dock. The only thing that prevented him from sprinting back to land was the thought of somehow falling into the water with the monstrous shadow. Nonetheless he moved as quickly as he could, stopping to look back only when he reached the sand. Only then did he dare pause to look back to see a dark fin pierce the surface and vanish again.

"Survival of the fittest, dumbass." he told himself, and retreated to the safety behind his fence.

When Sollux finally arrived Karkat had taken to swimming laps to curb his boredom. The grill was sitting to the side, smoke wafting from the coals that had been burning too long. The once well iced cooler was now stocked with the kind of vaguely warm water that only the heat of the sun could supply. "Do you know what time it is?" Karkat asked when Sollux appeared at the railing above him. "To be fair you just might not own one of these contraptions that can answer my question, but if that's the case you should really fucking look into getting one."

Completely unfazed at the outburst, the other descended the stairs as Karkat hoisted himself from the pool, drying himself with a towel. Huge dick though his best friend may be, Karkat was really glad to see a giant bag of ice clutched in his hands.

"Two o'clock, and yeah I know I'm late. EQ and NP were having ithueth with their thatellite equipment and they called to athk if I could help them thort it out. Plot twitht, I didn't manage before I realized the time and left."

Together they dumped the lukewarm water from the cooler, and as Sollux hoisted the fresh ice he motioned back up towards the kitchen.

"The grill ith ready, right? I left the beer and food up there, care to grab them? I tried to put them in your freezer but there wathn't any thpace."

"Of course it's ready it's been ready for an hour. And what do you mean no room? I haven't been out for groceries all week."

The only response he received, aside from an unconvinced 'if you say so' was a pair of raised eyebrows. Inside he found the items requested sitting on the counter, and with his curiosity peaked he opened the freezer door to see what his friend had been talking about. His following cry of dismay was followed by obnoxious barks of laughter below.

"Where the hell did these things come from?" Karkat demanded when Sollux appeared in the doorway.

"Fuck if I know, I jutht got here." he snorted, taking the burger packets. "I didn't even think you liked fith fingerth."

"I don't." Karkat protested, following the other back down into the yard with the drinks. "Fish fingers are as much fish as I have horns growing from my head. Nada. Satan himself would not feed them to the most deserving of damned assholes out of pity for their palates. They are a personal insult to the deliciousness of fried foods everywhere."

"One box frozen fried fith fingerth, two ninety-nine." Sollux recited, a long strip of paper appearing in his hands.

"Where did you get that?" Karkat asked.

"Your living room. By the way that very thame thing is written here, twenty-four more timeth. The total, if you mutht know, ithh jutht over fifty dollarth. Charged to the credit card of a Karkat Vantath, whom altho made uthe of the coupon 'buy twenty-five boxeth of frozen fried fith fingerth for two dollarth and ninety-nine centh and get twenty-five perthent off the total.' Thith wath clocked in at four-fifteen in the morning."

Karkat buried his face in his hands and groaned as his friends calm facade was betrayed by increasingly hysterical giggles.

"Are you saying that I got so drunk that at some point before four in the fucking morning I saw a coupon with the lousiest deal possible displayed happily across it's misleading face, for a thing I despise passionately by the way, and felt that it was perfectly rational to leave the house and walk a mile to the store and buy these things. Then in that stupor I just forgot about them until just now, upon their rediscovery?"

"Yeth it theemth that way."

"Past me is a fucking idiot."

As the day wore on Karkat and Sollux got down to the hard job of relaxing and enjoying each others' company. When the burgers had been started and the beer on ice Sollux announced the decision to swim and began stripping himself of his clothing.

"Where is your shame?" Karkat demanded, handing his friend his trunks. He averted his eyes as the boxers went. "We're outside for fuck's sake, this is indecent and I for one have very little desire to see your pale ass."

"For one thing you have thith ridiculouthly tall privathy fence," Sollux motioned to the tall wooden barrier surrounding the property with the hand holding his trunks, and Karkat buried his head with the embarrassment his friend didn't feel. "Tho no one can thee a damn thing from the road. You don't even have neighborth to make thith argument underthtandable. For another, if there ith very little dethire it meanth you thtill want to."

"I have neighbors, and no ew don't you fucking dare flash it anywhere relative to my direction."

"Thure, but you have to drive a few minuteth before you reach one. The only real purpothe of your fakey thafety fenthe ith blocking off the thecond only redeemable feature of thith place. My trunkth are on tho you can thtop covering your eyeth like a fucking baby now."

"I'm not a baby! And what is this oh so great feature I am literally dying to know."

"The fucking ocean view that celebritieth routinely ruin themselveth over."

Sollux dived headfirst into the pool, surfacing quickly to start his own set of laps. With him occupied and the food without need for tending, Karkat wandered to the door leading into the garage. It was mostly empty since he didn't own a car, and the only real thing that occupied it was a shelf covered with junk and a worn old Sunfish. Ignoring the boat he took a radio from the shelf and returned to the grill.

Sollux swam over to greet him as he fiddled with the tuning knob.

"It's a damn novelty you have thith ath thalt water inthtead of that chlorine thhit."

"It'd be more hygienic if it were chlorine."

"Yeah but the chemicalth alwayth burn my thkin until I have nothing but a thcratchy red epidermith. Beauty like thith ithn't eathy to maintain and your pool ith a nethethary part of my thtruggle for the ladieth."

"I'm glad I know why you come here. I'm sure the nerdy, hunchback twig is definitely the epitome of sex appeal."

"Actual fucking adonith, that ith me. No muthic today?"

"Nothing's coming in I can only get static." Karkat scoffed, giving up on the radio.

He returned it to the garage before going back to the grill. He gauged each of the burgers, flipping the ones that were ready. Sollux climbed out of the pool behind him, handing him a beer before sitting nearby to dry off. Karkat took a swig, grimacing at the flavor. He set it down not wanting to contemplate the implications of drinking more beer while suffering from a lingering hangover.

"This is really shitty beer."

"Only the betht of the wortht for you, KK." A pause. "Can I athk you a quethtion without you completely flipping your thhit?"

Karkat gave him a dubious look and shrugged.

"Why the fuck not?"

"When wath the latht time you cleaned anything, becauthe that ith not the houthe of thomeone who taketh that into habit. I've known you thince we were ten, I am the complete thlob between uth and you don't get to take my title."

"I don't remember." He admitted quietly. "I didn't have a lot of time trying to finish that fucking manuscript and when there was a moment I never felt like grabbing the broom."

"The manuthcript that'th thcattered in pieceth all over your living room? Yeah I thaw it don't give me that look. I thought they thigned you on for five bookth."

"That was my fifth book, way to keep track of my publishing achievements you shitty excuse for a best friend. They said it wasn't up to my standard quality, and if I couldn't prove I was still good then they were going to find fresher and better talent coming out of high school."

"Harth," Sollux offered. "and complete bullthit. I mean I've never read any of your work but I bet it'th fantathtic."

"Worst best friend ever."

"Hey I fully thupport you! I'm jutht not into that romanthe genre bull crap, never have been."

"But that's the thing!" Karkat erupted, and he felt as though a plug had been pulled on his emotions filling him with an anger he couldn't control. "That's the most fucked up part too! First they tell me I need to broaden my reader base with a different type of story and I do! I pour my goddamn heart and soul into a new subject and suddenly it's not good enough? 'Go back to what you did kid,' they told me. "Old dog's don't learn new tricks.' Apparently trashy romance novels are all I'm good for!"

He kicked at his chair in rage, aim off and sending it into the grill instead. The cooking apparatus wobbled dangerously as a few of the meat patties fell to the ground.

"Damn it!"

"Hey now calm down KK." Sollux said, forcing him to move away from the grill. "Not only are you inept at coding and writing but let'th throw not having temper tantrumth onto the litht. Jethuth fuck I thought you would have grown out of thith by now."

Barely had the words come from his mouth that Sollux knew he had overstepped his bounds.

"Fuck you! If you were only coming here to be an ass and rub my issues in my face then you should leave."

"Hey, hey KK." Sollux breathed, arms on both Karkat's shoulders, attempting to lock eyes with the other but he stubbornly looked away. "Look I'm fucking thorry, I know I thay all the wrong thingth and I'm not patient enough to help you with your thit, but you really do need to fucking calm down and thtop flipping out after thethe thorts of thingth happen, alright? Not every bad thing ith the end of the goddamn world."

Karkat breathed out through his nose in a way that made Sollux's hurt, but he finally met their eyes and nodded slightly. Sollux smiled at him in return.

"Are we still friends?" Karkat asked quietly, cheeks burning at his own outburst.

"Of courthe we are. If we weren't I wouldn't have brought burgerth to thave you from your fith finger obthethion."

Karkat opened his mouth to retort but was silenced by the sound of the Nyan Cat theme. Sollux released his shoulders and moved to get his phone from his pants pocket.

"Hey NP did you get your equipment working?"

While Sollux spoke to Nepeta, Karkat busied himself with cleaning up the spilled burgers and tossing them into the trash. By the time he returned Sollux had was frowning and glancing out past the fence. He motioned at Karkat, mouthing at him to not bother with any more burgers. Curious he sat with his feet in the pool as the other spoke with increasing speed.

"Uh huh, yeah, no, I'm with him I can tell him. Are you sure? Yeah that's fine one second," Sollux held the phone out to Karkat. "It's NP she wants to tell you something."

"Hey Nepeta." Karkat greeted. "It's been a while. How's it going?"

"Not very good at this moment, Karkitty." Her voice was the same as he had last remembered, high pitched but not unpleasantly so with a girly playful quality to it. "You need to go inland tonight. We are tracking a really bad storm right meow and it's turning to shore, we think it'll land early in the evening."

"How bad will it be?" Karkat asked, Sollux was already throwing unused lawn chairs into the garage, turning on the grill to get the food off of it. He could hear her hesitate before answering, as if gauging how honest she should be. In the background he could hear someone gruffly asking for the phone.

"Hello Vantas." the new voice was deeper and more rough then Nepeta's, an air of superiority underlying in the tone.

"Hey Equius. Tell me straight, how screwed over am I going to be if I stay here tonight." Sollux has started dragging the grill after the chairs, he knew it had to be something serious.

"Your house may not be there in the morning, you may not be either if you decide to stay." Leave it to Equius to be as blunt as possible. "On stilts or not the estimated flooding means it won't be safe. I would suggest you take shelter with someone in the city. Preferably not with me, or Nepeta."

"You're so pawful sometimes!" Nepeta shouted in the background.

"Don't dally there long either." Equius resumed, the first tint of concern bleeding into his voice. "You know how quickly these spring storms can arrive, and how violent they can be."

"Thanks for the warning, I'll figure something out." The call ended and Karkat handed the phone back to Sollux. "It always amazes me how quickly you can put your clothes on, like you have a lot of practice doing so... I guess I need to check into a hotel tonight."

"Can you afford that?"

"If I don't care about having power for a few fucking days I could." Karkat took a deep breath to steady himself, but when released it sounded more like a scream. "Fuck!"

"Why don't you call your dad, or Kanaya? Thtay with them for a night or two?"

"My dad would drive me fucking crazy. Ever since the incident he acts like if I leave his sight I'll vanish off the face of the Earth. I'll be smothered if I go there, and fuck if he will let me leave again without a huge fight. Kanaya has finals coming up, so does Rose. They don't need me fucking their shit while already so much pressure."

"Alright then, there ith the obviouth tholution. Thtay at my place. It'th thtill near enough by and far enough inland that the thtorm won't be tho bad, and we come by and make thure the plathe ith thtill inhabitable in the morning. I'll even throw in free pizza and a thhitty rom-com movie, to thweeten thith already rad ath fuck deal."

"I need to pack a night bag, and I need to secure the storm shutters. You sure you want to deal with this level of train wreck for a whole goddamn night?"

"I've dealt with worthe. Did I tell you about the time I had to unthcramble a drunk guyth attempt at coding at five in the morning?"

"For that you're buying real pizza," Karkat felt his spirits brighten, actually laughing with Sollux as they secured the house together. "and I mean with real toppings and not any of that fish or pineapple shit. Just good old fashioned pepperoni and sausage."

"Fine you culinary panthy princeth. I will buy boring vanilla pizza for you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you want another thlice?"

Thunder cracked overhead and Karkat shook his head.

"Shit's soggy."

Sollux cast an uncertain glance at the dripping pizza box. He made an attempt to open the lid but the crumbling cardboard split instead. Grimacing, he tossed the whole thing into a trash bag.

"It could have once been classified as food." Karkat offered, glancing up from the television. "I thought he was gonna fucking murder you."

Sollux thought back to the delivery guy, standing in front of the resident-access-only after-six building during the downpour.

"How wath I thupposed to know he wouldn't have a car? When we ordered the thing it wath thtill only thprinkling." Sollux threw himself onto his couch, Karkat shifting over to offer him more space to pout. "Thith wath a louthy wathte of fifty buckth."

"There there you blubbering goddamn pansy." Karkat patted his friends' knee in mock comfort. "You didn't have to tip the guy so much."

"Honestly, I thought he wath gonna fuckin murder me too if I didn't."

Karkat laughed a little and Sollux grinned, stretching his long arms obnoxiously and dropping one behind Karkat's head. The other man scowled at him but did nothing else and Sollux considered it a victory. They watched as news crew went out around the city, talking about the crazy weather like they thought their viewers didn't notice the pounding rain against the windows.

"You couldn't pay me enough to do that godforsaken job." Karkat sneered as the camera showed them the wind chucking a billboard several feet. "What kind of brain damage do you need to go and think to yourself 'well it looks like the planet is trying to kill us today, I'm going to go out and say hello!' Fucking morons all of them."

"NP and EQ do it all the time. Exthept they typically go after thunderthtormth and tornadoeth in the Midwetht." Sollux pointed out, then with an attempt at a deeper rougher voice continued. "They have very THTRONG windth there, the true dithplay of the POWER and MAJETHTY of nature."

Karkat laughed at Sollux's impression.

"And they smile while they're at it! Bat shit insane, I am telling you!" He threw his hands in the air to convey his feelings, but the harshness of the statement was softened by the fondness that filled his voice. "They were on the cover of National Geographic with Aradia weren't they?"

"Yeah and their car wath flipped and battered to hell."

" And that makes them fucking crazy!"

The news switched to the main room, where the meteorologist attempted to explain that while the storm seemed like a hurricane it wasn't actually one. Sollux turned the volume higher but they could still hear the wind whip the rain against the walls, and every blast of thunder caused the glass to shake. Grainy cell phone footage showed ocean pouring over beach barriers and onto the roads and Karkat buried himself further into the cushions. Sollux roped his arm around his shoulders and squeezed a little.

"Want to lothe againtht me at thuper thmath brotherth?" Karkat stopped watching the flash flood warnings move across the screen to glare at him.

"No, I would much rather sit here and watch the pompous weathercaster tell me the exact moment I become homeless. Better yet! Let's wait for the amateur video of my house being swept out to sea, that would be much more satisfactory right now then just pretending nothing is happening and kicking your ass at video games."

"You are not going to be homeleth." Sollux sighed. "It'th not even a hurricane out there. Okay - tho what it floodth, the othean crawlth the quarter mile to your houthe - which ith fifteen feet off the ground - and it'th fine. At motht you need to replathe your grill, which theemth like a bad thing exthept it barely workth. Remember when it blew off your eyebrowth? I remember when it blew off your eyebrowth, it'th a piethe of thit and you need to replathe it anywayth."

"What about my garage?"

"Fuck your garage, fuck the newth, and fuck thitting here and worrying. I'm putting on thome goddamn cartoonth."

"If you change it from this weather report I swear to God I will break your shitty bifocals." Karkat all but snarled, shoving Sollux away from the remote.

"What the hell." Sollux said as he picked himself off the floor. "You put up a lot of thit with me, I know. But you have never been a goddamn cake to handle either, and rethently thingth have gotten worthe. Now if the latht decade-and-a-half hath meant anything to you, then you are going to anther all of my questionth right now."

His friend did not look at him, instead focusing on the floor.

"Karkat!" Sollux barked, and as the other flinched he softened his tone. "Have you been taking your medth? Like you haven't gone off them right?"

"That's a really hypocritical thing to ask me mister happy-one-second-depressed-the-next."

"We're not talking about my thymptoms we're talking about yourth, becauthe your houthe? Not the rethidenthe of thomeone who hath their thit together. Not to menthion the paranoia, the increathe in your rageth. The KK I know would never tear apart a manuthcript jutht becauthe thome crappy editor didn't like it, he would thove it up their ath and make them publith it afterward. When wath the last time you thaw Rotha?"

"I haven't seen her in a while." Karkat admitted. "I stopped taking my meds too, ages ago. I felt like they were clouding my head, I couldn't think so I tossed them. It was fine for a while, but then the nightmares started again and at first they were manageable but then... well _he_ started appearing in them."

"Gamzee?"

"No-"

Thunder ripped directly overhead, a cannon bursting through the rampages of the storm. Karkat jumped so violently Sollux had to keep him from tumbling off the couch. They both listened to the noise of the storm, the noise of the television, but the noise felt like nothing to Sollux as the things his friend wasn't saying rang even more heavily upon his ears.

"Not Gamzee." Karkat said eventually, speaking slowly. "Gamzee is never really a big part of them. They're more like, like I am being slowly suffocated and caged in as the dark comes crashing in around me. The more I try to hide the more I drown in it, and every time I feel like it's the end, _he_ appears with that huge terrifying grin on his face to drag me to hell. After that I always, always wake up screaming and I can't get back to sleep."

"Tho the bagth under your eyeth?"

"I'm too scared to sleep now, especially at night. It's so lame and childish but I can't fucking sleep if I can't see my surroundings and I can't sleep if it's daylight as if my biology won't let me. Fuck! I just wanted to get my life back together, Sollux. It's been ten years and I'm so fucking sick of living with this much fear."

Sollux frowned, looking for the words to say. He must have been making a face because Karkat buried his face deeper into his arms.

"Don't not say anything. It makes me feel even worse."

"I think..." Sollux paused, still searching. Living with fear was terrible, and even with his own shitty life he was still afraid to say the wrong thing to his friend. "You can't avoid being afraid, not after thomething like that happened. If it'th really affecting your life that badly you need to go talk to Rotha, and get back on your medth. Call me a hypocrite for thaying tho, but I wath a wreck when I went off mine and now that I'm back on thingth are uthually pretty okay."

"Yeah but it's never always perfect."

"Lothing my father the I did wath hard KK," Sollux breathed in deeply through his nose, careful to keep his voice even, "and what happened to Mit wathn't fair either, but you have to - HAVE to - learn to live with it. It'th never going to be alwayth perfect, but it can at leatht make thingth more manageable. Thometimes even have good dayths. It'th better than not living at all."

"I make no promises." Karkat muttered. Sollux snorted and offered his arm, which Karkat accepted with a huff. "It's fucking cold in your apartment."

"Have to keep my computerth from overheating. Oh hey look there'th your house!"

They both watched the television as the news crews recorded the ocean sweeping over the beach and towards the familiar building, ignoring the reporter as they exclaimed their excitement of the _power_ and _energy_ of the storm.

The first wave hit the fence on the outer perimeter and Sollux gently squeezed Karkat to comfort him. The waves lapped higher and soon the entire backyard was flooded. The camera panned away to show the nearly submerged roadway before panning back.

"Thee, not a goddamn neighbor in thight."

Sollux's attempt to defuse the situation as a wave - bigger than the others - slammed against the fence line, wood boards collapsing. Another followed, pushing the surf right into the stilts of the main structure. Karkat's breath caught as they stood against the onslaught, the ocean surging around the front and past the driveway and cutting it away from dry land.

"At leatht it ithn't a grainy thell phone video."

"Not helping. I really actually might be homeless." he breathed. "Goddamn I didn't actually believe..."

"Tho move into my thecond bedroom." Sollux cut him off before the rant could really take off.

"What?"

"You don't want to move in with your dad or with Kanaya and heaven forbid you even conthider Kankri the awful prick. Move in with me. I have that thpare bedroom, and I can move my office out here it'th not like I uthed the dining room for anything anyway. We may be two theparate walking dithasterth but we can be dithasterth together."

Karkat laughed and Sollux felt a small thrill of victory as the others' shoulders relaxed a bit.

"I'll consider it." he said, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smile. "If the place is gone then I may."

"Good to hear that your thit for brainth can thtill protheth a reathonable and might I add exthtremely generouth line of thought."

"I really fucking hope it's still standing tomorrow, just to save me from being in close proximity with you and your train wreck of a lisp."

"It'th a dithability athhole. I'm gonna call your brother and tell him you are dithrethpecting me and my totally actheptable thpeech patternth. Triggerth are all up in here."

"Oh my god." Karkat groaned, covering his face with his hands. "If you honestly did that I would throw myself off the end of my dock."

"No you fucking wouldn't. You hate the othean jutht ath much ath I do."

Karkat thought back to the giant shadow he had seen just that morning and he had to agree.

"I would most certainly not throw myself off my dock ever at any time," he conceded, "and I understand why you hate it but I don't actually dislike the ocean, I just don't trust it anymore." There was a pause as he squinted at the television screen. "Is that... is that Nepeta's van?"

While the ocean had ceased rising and the storm overall looked as if it was beginning to plateau, the weather was still violent. Massive waves crashed against the flooded roadway as rain pounded down like falling sleet, driven ceaselessly by the wind. A news van without network logo was driving through the dark surf, battling through the water that threatened to pull it out to sea. A large figure could barely be seen on top of the vehicle, holding a camera focused on the house, Karkats house.

"Thothe crathy motherfuckerth." Sollux breathed. "It'th a hell of a way to thow how much you care. You better get your thithter thomething nithe."

"Half-sister." Karkat said smiling. "And goddamn it mom is going to kill me."

His father had warned him about the dangers of being close to shore during a storm, how the water could change and become a dangerous beast. He had never disbelieved his old man, and he hadn't meant to be in such shallow water when the storm had landed. Things as they were though, Eridan Ampora knew that if he could not reach the calmer depths of the open ocean soon he was going to be in a lot of trouble.

Despite his experience in swimming the currents and dangerous tides of the shallows, Eridan found himself being tossed and beaten by the water surrounding him. His powerful form fought back, twisting and propelling himself away from the land just as viciously. Thoughts and worry ran through his head, and he fought himself to keep the panic from overcoming him as he lost the small headway he had gained. The water pulled and his tail lashed both rock and air as he thrashed and he knew this was a battle he was going to lose.

The rain battered him as the ocean pulled back, pacing away from the land like a dancer before crashing forward again to meet its partner, crushing Eridan against the rocky beachfront and knocking the breath from his lungs. There was no time to regain his bearings before the water retracted again, exposing him fully to the surface world and then he was being battered, tossed and rolled against the surface sand and weed as he was forced further and further away from salvation.

Would his father know that he was dead, or would he assume he had just gone off on his own again?

There was no time for reflection or regret as the ocean - hadn't they once been lifelong friends? - slammed him against a creaking barrier. Once, twice, a third time and it broke around him, searing marks across his skin and scales. Pain burned through him and settled into his bones, too deep to bother focusing on anything else.

When the ground dropped beneath him he did not stop himself from sinking to rest. The current was still terrible in the strange salvation he had found, but as he nestled in a corner he found it preferable to being dragged and battered about. A quick check revealed his glasses were missing, a second to also realize his scarf was gone too.

The irritation over his missing items was quickly overridden as it began to really sink in he was still alive, and though he could see the ocean move above him in a blurry churning mess he could wait until it quieted some. He could wait - he decided as his eyes drifted shut as exhaustion overwhelmed him - for the storm to ease and he would slip back to sea in the tide. Just like that, he would escape and return home and he was comforted by the thought even as he fell asleep in his foreign sanctuary.


	3. Chapter 3

Dedicated to THE Tippy. Glorious Bastard was a nice touch.

The first thing Sollux registered was that his back was sore and all he could see was an unpleasant close-up of the fibers in his carpet. Standing turned out to be a surprising challenge, his body unhelpfully reminding him he wasn't a teenager anymore. Rubbing at his spine he glanced over at his couch, no sign of his friend but blankets he used were folded into a haphazard pile. He glanced around blearily, trying to shake the remainders of sleep. He glanced over towards the dvd player, the number ten flashing merrily to him.

"How'd you thleep KK?" He called. No reply came and he shuffled into the kitchen, the scent of strong coffee giving an immediate need to fulfill. He poured a cup before continuing his search.

"KK?" There was no sign of shouty life within the apartment, and only his pair of shoes occupied the entryway. Tiredly he drifted to his room and sat on the edge of his bed, sipping from his coffee as he glanced around. "He could have thaid thankth at leatht. 'Gee thankth Thollukth, I really apprethiate you letting me thtay inthtead of flipping a tit at the thcary thtorm all by mythelf in my thtupid thtilt houthe.' Thuck on thith hothpitality KK becauthe I'm never inviting you again."

It was a lie, Sollux knew, but it made him feel less lonely and more vindicated in thinking so. He drained his coffee and walked back to the kitchen. He browsed through his mostly bare cupboards before opening his refrigerator. Sitting atop a wrapped plate of bacon and fried eggs was a note, and Sollux reluctantly acknowledged he was an asshole.

_Good morning sleeping ugly. I waited fucking hours for you to_

_wake your lazy ass up, but I have shit to do and waiting on you isn't a_

_part of that. I'm going home since I'm sure as shit there's some infuriating _

_cleaning activities I'm going to need to do. So, yeah, I made you coffee and _

_breakfast because I appreciate you letting me stay. _

_Later - Karkat_

"What a goddamn adorable jack-ath." He tried not to smile, he really did.

Two hours later found Sollux sitting in his jeep outside the house he grew up in, debating whether to knock on the front door or chickening out while he could. The house was the most interesting on the street. Three stories tall and painted a red so bright it was like fire trucks in parades, with the accents as solid teal. It was an eye sore but Red-mom had never been especially talented at color theory. That wasn't a necessary skill for a judge anyway, and Sollux would never be brave enough to attempt telling her how terrible it looked.

"You don't need to go in." He spoke to his windshield. "He'th not going to remember you vithited anywayth and you'll jutht get a headache." He smashed his forehead against the steering column once, and then again for good measure. "But I'm the only family he hath left, and Dad wouldn't have wanted me to thkip out jutht becauthe I wath uncomfortable and he'th inthane. He would thay that would be cowardly and dithpicable."

Reluctantly he emerged from his car and walked to the front door. To what little credit he could claim, he had only hesitated for a moment before raising his hand and giving two sharp knocks. Music could be heard inside, something with a heavy bass line and indiscernible yelling. The place was always loud, as if silence wasn't allowed to exist there.

If he was honest he would admit it was a reason why he liked Karkat so much, with that much volume there was no way he could focus on darker things. He shuffled his feet impatiently as he waited for permission to enter, jumping in place to dispel his anxiety before knocking twice more.

"Coming, coming! Jeeze bro hold your horses. I know it's you, Sollux." The door opened and he was greeted by Latula's hand raised into the air. He left her hanging with a grin on his face and she engulfed him into a hug as retaliation. "Sup baby bro? It's been a while since you came by, was starting to miss you some."

"Some?" Sollux groaned, trying to wrench himself free from the overbearing grip. Finally he maneuvered his head from her serpents vice and stumbled to the side. "Fuck, Latula have you been lifting weighths again? You're leth woman and more gorilla at thith point."

"Hahaha, take that back you little shit." she punched him in the arm which Sollux believed proved his point thoroughly. "But nah, I'm back in training for the 'extreme boarding extravaganz,' you should go it's coming up in like a month."

"Fuck that thit. That thing you jutht thaid? That thing thoundth terrible. Nothing would be more contemptible to me right now then doing that thing you jutht thuggethted."

"Then why are you wearing the Skate-o-rama t-shirt I gave you after the last competition?"

"It'th the only one that pathed the thniff tetht."

"I totally believe you bro." Latula shrugged. "So what you here for? You don't really make it a habit to come and see us."

"Well," Sollux shifted his weight, "I'm here to thee MT, actually."

The joviality dropped from the others face as Latula leveled him a look, a frown attempting to pull down the corner of her mouth. Sollux shrugged his shoulders and she sighed before stepping back, clearing the doorway.

"Are you sure you want to spend the day like this, kid? It may be better for both you and 'Tuna to just forget about it. I mean, it's hard on the both of you."

"No." Sollux said firmly. "No it'th not what dad would have wanted, uth being tho theparated like thith. I can," he took a breath, "thith, I can do thith much at leatht, jutht for today. I can thtop avoiding thith thubject for one day of my year."

"If you're sure..." Latula looked at him doubtfully and he held himself straighter. She smiled at, patting the top of his head for emotional support. She had to reach up to do so, so Sollux leaned over to make it easier for her. "He's in his game room working right now, if you can get him to speak to you I'll be impressed. He seems like he just doesn't want to talk to us of late, especially if he doesn't have to."

"Thankth for the warning, thith. I'll at leatht try to communicate, if he doethn't rethpond I'll call it a year." She followed him down the hall and towards the room where the music blared from, ushering him inside. He looked back at her and she planted her hip firmly against the door frame. He was on his own.

It had once been the family room, Sollux knew. There had been some bookcases and comfortable chairs when he had still been a kid, but now the books were gone and the room was encumbered with junk. Game systems and cartridges were piled everywhere covering the shelves, furniture, and floor. Sollux had to step around snack wrappers and discarded soda bottles. In the epicenter of the chaos was his older brother.

"MT!" Sollux yelled over the music. It was coming from a stereo stashed in a corner, and with some difficulty turned the volume to a more manageable level. He turned and was greeted by Mituna glaring at him from beneath his hair. Before he could say anything the other returned his attention to the television. Latula gave him an unhelpful thumbs up from the doorway, and he took a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose before approaching his brother.

"Hey MT." Sollux greeted as he took a seat beside the other. "It'th been a while, how've you been?" He waited before speaking again. "LT tellth me you work ath a game tethter now, it'th cool that you were able to find thome work."

He was studiously ignored once again and Sollux groaned in frustration.

"Fuck'th thake Mituna, what'th with the thilent treatment?" Out of the corner of his eye he saw Latula motion him back but he shook his head, mouthing back he wasn't done.

On the screen was a indie-like side scroller, a sixty-four bit stylized disaster. The image moved so quickly the player could barely keep up. At first he assumed it was meant to be an extra challenge, but when the whole thing glitched the player right out of the screen he knew it was just really shitty coding. Mituna threw down the control snarling as 'game over' flashed in front of him.

"Fucking piethe of thit! Where doth developerth get thethe abtholute thit ideath? Retro flathback thtopped being cool forever ago, thothe douthenovel fuckwifferth. Keep to the timeth you goddamn fathe fuckerth!"

"Maybe it'th jutht too much for you to handle." Sollux said in response to the outburst. Mituna swiveled violently and fell over, the shock on his face making it evident that he hadn't realized Sollux had even been standing there.

"The fuck you doing here ath-licker?"

Sollux flinched from the others lisp. Unlike himself who'd always had the impediment from his overbite, Mituna had only developed one after the incident. Sollux was reminded how much it made him dislike speaking to his brother, but pressed on anyway.

"Nithe to thee you too bro." He picked up the games case and studied it. "Tho what thort of perthon maketh thuch a broken thide thcroller? The graphicth are terrible."

"Thom thtupid noob. Look at their company, independent. A bunch of grown ath lotherth thitting in their momth bathementh jacking off inthtead of acthually thinking about what they're doing."

Sollux eyed the room around them and decided not to point out that Mituna was also a grown man residing in his other-mothers family room.

"It looked like the coding wath done with a hand down their panth, yeth." Sollux instead conceded. "A glitch that immenth taketh a conthiderable level of thtupid to achieve."

"You thought that wath bad you thould try the retht, like how can thith level of incompetenth be natural?" Mituna handed Sollux the control and reset the system. As the screen loaded Mituna actually grinned at him, and Sollux found himself grinning in return. "Good luck dumb ath."

The first thing he was introduced to was a character creation page. From what he had briefly observed before, this was the only place the creator had taken any real time on. Sollux selected a lanky demonic figure with pale skin and a set of double horns. The shirt he selected was yellow and striped like a bee, and for embellishment he added an electric field around it. When he tried to move forward the game insisted he select a sweets theme, so he selected a honey-like goo that dripped from its hair. Finally, it switched him from the intro screen before launching straight into the game, not giving him any time to select start on his own.

The goal of the game seemed to be the collection of points through destroying objects with a giant lollipop, which his character wielded with the electricity. Apparently it wasn't purely an embellishment but a fighting method, which impressed him slightly. The neon candy colored coated vomit landscape left much to be desired, though.

"Thith ith tho thtupid." Sollux commented. "What drug were they on when they dethided thith wath a conthept they thould purthue?"

Mituna snickered beside him before grabbing the second controller.

"I know, right? Thith ith the wortht thing I have ever played." He joined in as a random second player, and the game mechanics seemed to shift from destroying everything to making other sprites like the avatar. Cherubs - of all things - flew around them in nonsensical patterns, and only after smashing them with the lolli-sword several times would they transform.

"Hey MT, pretty thure I can thlam your ath at thith pith poor game."

"You're pith poor Tholluckth." Mituna countered. "Your thkillth are ath lame ath your perthnality. Thuck my dick pother."

They played together for nearly an hour, alternatively harassing and cheering each other on. Sollux found himself genuinely enjoying his time with Mituna, the first in years, and he felt genuine disappointment as the game glitched out worse than the last time. The same image kept recycling continuously as the character moved in unnerving fragments across the screen.

"Thith game lookth pothethed." Sollux commented, standing up and cracking his back. The soreness from that morning had intensified. Mituna stood up after him, unbothered from sitting on the floor for long periods. "You're like thixth yearth older than me. How the fuck can you thtand thitting on the floor tho long? What wath the name of that game anywath?"

"Cauth you're a genetic weakling that'th why." Mituna countered. "And it'th called Trickthter Party."

"Thtupid name."

"Thmartetht thing you've thaid all day."

"Tho," Sollux was reluctant to mention his next thought, Mituna wouldn't like it, he never did. He only hoped his brother wouldn't have another fit. "Tho do you know what day it ith?"

"Why the fuck thould I? That'th knowledge that plebth like you need." Sollux ignored the insult and pressed on.

"It'th the theventeenth of May. Doeth that hold any thignificanth to you?" This was the tricky part, Sollux knew. If his brother got angry they would have to sedate him, and he didn't want to have to do that again.

"What'th the theventeenth again? It'th important right? It theemth important..." Mituna looked at Sollux quizzically before narrowing his eyes.

"MT jutht wait a thecond..."

"That'th when... Tholluckth that'th when Dad..." Sollux was not prepared for Mituna to move so quickly, and was alarmed to find himself shoved in a corner as his brother began pacing and yanking at his hair. "How could I forget? Thith'th ith terrible I need to, I need to do thoming! Tholluckth we need to get a boat, right now. We need to get to the othean!"

"You need to calm down." Sollux said in a way he hoped was soothing. "You're getting too exthited right now. What would do we need to do? I can't underthtand what you are thaying."

Mituna twisted his body violently to face Sollux, the look of desperation in his face made Sollux twitch back. The other advanced on him in quick strides before fisting hands in his tee.

"The fucking fith, you moron. We need to go find the fucking fith! They know where he ith and we've jutht left him there to rot!"

"We've been over thith before, there are no thuch thingth ath talking fith..." Mituna slammed Sollux against the wall hard enough to knock the wind from his lungs.

"You're not lithenining cock thucker!" Mituna bellowed. "We need to go athk them tho we can thave him like he would have for uth!"

Sollux braced himself for another encounter with the wall when Mituna's grip slackened and he swayed on his feet. A hand stroked his face unsteadily as his eyes began to droop.

"You need to lithen, you need to believe me..." His eyes fell shut and his weight tilted him forward, Sollux leaping forward to catch him before he could impact the floor. Latula was standing a short ways back with an empty syringe in her hand. She was frowning at the pair with strange detachment.

"I came when I heard the shouting." she explained, tossing the syringe onto an overflowing trash can.

"I'm glad you did. Thould we take him to hith room?"

Together they lifted Mituna, supporting him on both sides and half dragged him into the hallway. They swung right, stopping in front of his door. Latula left Sollux to support his brother as she pulled out some keys and unlocked it. They dragged Mituna to the bed, settling in him before she motioned for them to leave. Behind him she relocked the door and they made their way to the living room. Sollux dropped onto the nearest couch and attempted to calm his nerves.

"Tho," he said, taking a deep breath, "the lock thing ith new."

"I don't like it." Latula admitted, tossing the keys away and collapsing onto a chair. "But we needed to implement something after he disappeared from the house. We didn't find him until we got a call from the port master, who claimed he caught him attempting to steal a boat."

"Why didn't I hear about thith thooner?"

"We knew you were busy with work and you couldn't afford the extra stress." She gave him an apologetic wince. "We knew that you would drop everything to come over here and completely freak out."

"I wouldn't have... no yeth, yeth I would." He ran his hands through his hair. "Anything elth I thhould know about?"

"Not really? For the most part he just plays games and I write reports to send in for him, then he sleeps and repeats the same cycle. He hadn't had a single fit until today, but it had to be coming by the way he was withdrawing."

"I thee."

"If anything you shouldn't blame yourself kid. He'll wake up in a few hours, demand a snack and go off to play video games again."

Latula departed to call her mother to inform her of what happened, and Sollux decided it was time to finally head home. He was just closing the front door behind him when the gate screeched.

He looked up and frowned as he came face to face with his other not sister Terezi. They stood awkwardly facing each other before Terezi tried to open some dialogue.

" Sollux, it's been a long time since we've seen each other." She forced a grin. "How've you been doing? Left your cave to hang out with anyone lately?"

"Look, I'm going to thay thith right off the bat, quit it with the blind joketh." Sollux snapped. "I'm not buying and it thtopped being funny when you became a huge bitch. Thecondly, I am not going to give you any information about Karkat, don't even pretend that ithn't what you were after. If you want to know how he'th doing get off your ath and athk him yourthelf."

"He doesn't answer my messages." she countered. "I just want to know if he's doing okay. He lives out there by himself so it's not like I can just drop by and claim I happened to be in the neighborhood."

"Well he hath a very good reathon for not wanting to talk to you. Bethideth it'th not really any of your buthineth anymore ith it? After all you were the one who told KK you never wanted to thee him again and then _thlept_ with hith _boyfriend_!"

"There's nothing I could regret more than that decision!" she snapped, and Sollux at her. "It was a terrible thing to do to him. I don't even know what I was thinking! If I hadn't decided to tell him about it..."

"You thouldn't have done it in the firtht plathe!"

"I know!" Terezi's voice barely cracked and Sollux felt intense satisfaction at how much this was affecting her. "I know that! Do you think that I don't live with the fact that it was my actions that drove him out on the water that day? I live with that and I just want to know if he's okay!"

Terezi puffed before him, maintaining her poker face even as her shoulders heaved. Sollux couldn't hold back a single disbelieving giggle from passing his lips.

"If you feel tho bad go apologithe to him. Tell him how much what happened hurt you. It'th only hith life that wath ruined."

"Sleeping with Gamzee was the worst thing I could have done to him-"

"Don't you even fucking thay that! He wath already devethtated when you dethided from nowhere he wath no longer worthy of your prethenthe. You can't thay a thingle thing until you talk to him, and you need to thtop being thuch a coward about it TZ!"

Sollux stormed past her, shouldering her aside as he opened the gate. He heard her turn before he felt the hand on his shoulder, and he reached back to shove her off.

"Gamzee is getting released soon." Sollux froze at those words, a chill so deep that froze his bones. He forced himself to turn back and look at her, and the deep frown in her face made his stomach drop.

"What did you jutht thay?"

"I said, Gamzee is getting released soon. He's being let out for exemplary behavior. I filed an appeal but it was rejected."

"When doth thith happen?"

"I'm not sure. An exact date hasn't been scheduled, it could be a few weeks to a few months. Mom is trying to see if there's something we can do, at the most we made certain the elder Makara would not be receiving the same treatment. Karkat... hasn't been notified yet. I wanted to tell him in person since a letter would be too impersonal."

"No." Sollux squared his shoulders.

"No what?"

"You aren't going to thtick your fingerth in thith anymore. I'll tell him, and you can relegate everything to me. He thould hear it from thomeone he can trutht."

"Your bedroom is still upstairs." Terezi said quickly. "It hasn't been touched. Mom makes sure it is cleaned every week. I miss you Sollux, we used to be so close."

Sollux regarded her a moment before sighing. He turned his body in preparation to walk away, but decided to leave some parting words.

"That wath before I knew how terrible a perthon you could be. Don't expect my rethpect to thuddenly return without proof that you earned it." That said he left Terezi standing inside the gate. He had someone he needed to go see.


End file.
